Written by Randi Mayem Singer, Directed by Mel Damski

Guest starring Jessica Walter as Mrs. Louise Zane, Stephen Macht as Dr. Jonas Zane, Lori Rom as Alison, Chad Willett as Jonathan, and Josh Hopkins as Matt Prophet

Co-starring Steve Susskind, Paul Leighton, Ilia Volon, Yvette Cruise

Featured Musical Artists: Great Big Sea

"Where did you come from?" -Barto
"Downstairs." -Audrey

"Through the eyes of Dr. and Mrs. Zane, some things just don't mix: religion and politics, martinis and hot dogs, precious sons in med school and blonde shiksa dancers...." -Mikey

"It's like there's a little phys. ed. teacher inside your brain with a clipboard and a whistle." -Jill to Jack

"Who keeps their cell-phone fully charged?" -Jill
"I do!" -Jack
"Where is it?" -Jill
"In the charger." -Jack

"Are you kidding me? One apartment per floor?" -Audrey
"Yeah, it's less confusing that way." -Barto

"We could starve, or dehydrate or freeze to death." -Jack
"Or we could skip all that and just kill ourselves. You first." -Jill

"Hey, try the window again." -Jack
"I will not try the window again. The window is made of kryptonite." -Jill

"Lovely girl. Speaks three languages." -Mrs. Zane
"And she's pretentious in all of them." -Barto

"Have you thought about what you'll do in the event that things don't work out in the long run?" -Mrs. Zane
"Well, actually I thought I'd snag a young medical student and get him to marry me before he realizes what a low-brow loser I am. Would you pass me the salt please?" -Audrey

"Truth or dare?" -Jill
"Truth." -Jack
"How'd you lose your virginity?" -Jill
"I had sex." -Jack

"I don't care what your parents think about me. I care what they think YOU think about me." -Audrey to Barto

"I spent the entire night in a laundry room. I am not leaving with dirty sheets." -Jack

"Thank you." -Jack
"For what?" -Jill
"I don't know." -Jack
"You're welcome." -Jill

"I slept with a total stranger. I must have been insane." -Elisa
"He wasn't a stranger, you knew his name." -Mikey
"Only his first name." -Elisa
"Well, I always find that's the important one to know." -Mikey

"We've all done it, Elisa. Even without the song. We're horny, we're lonely, mostly I think we're optimistic." -Mikey